I’ve had the privilege of studying abroad a couple times. Each trip was short but changed me remarkably.

This is from Nicaragua in March of 2018. Lesley University works with a non profit organization that coordinates these opportunities. These courses strive for cultural sensitivity but yes, they always raise concerns along side the magic they catalyze.

This moment was on top of Cerro Negro Volcano. After hiking, you can sled down on a wooden sled and an amazing denim jumpsuit.

There’s a trail carved out in the sand slope. With no breaks on the sled, you sit down, lean back and let the slope take you. Those of us at the end of the line were extra lucky because the sun set just as it was our turn!

The slope before me was pitch black. I love thrills, adventure and leaping into the unknown… at least that’s what I thought. When it came time to sit down, lean back and let go, I was terrified. I had no idea what to expect but my 15 peers had already gone without distress lights or cries for help.

Even so, something in me clenched.

I leaned back, started to move, picked up speed, and then shifted my weight forward bringing me to a quick stop.

“Damn. Okay, I will really let go! Let’s try again.” I leaned back and picked up speed, sledding into blackness, couldn’t even see my feet. It was thrilling and I almost let go entirely.

But then! Fear.

I got scared once more, leaned forward and slowed into a pile of sand.

“Damn. No okay this time I’m really ready!”

I leaned back again and pushed my butt along. Unfortunately, my bravery came too late to enjoy a pure slide into the unknown. The slope was over, leveled out, I was at the bottom.

Between my moments of hesitation, I felt the freedom. A trust fall into the dark universe was a blast of freedom.

Next time, I will let go right away!

Maybe I should repeat this story to myself at the start of every day.